there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
