I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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