In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
