I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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