Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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