Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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