Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
