You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
