I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
