In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize