she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
