the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm eating all of the evidence.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize