its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
