I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize