Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
