Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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