ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i wish my penis had a tongue
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
