i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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