If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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