Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
