Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize