He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
They have beer where we have blood.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
