Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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