You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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