thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
