return my video game
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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