Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
