Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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