I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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