She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
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