I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
