apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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