he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
