The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
