so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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