You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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