and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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