We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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