White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
