he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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