that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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