Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
