I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
