Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
