please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
