how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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