Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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