I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it's like iHOP with fire
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
