Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
