can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize