Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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