I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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