This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm too high and old for this...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
