Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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