You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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