areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
