i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
