so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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