But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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