I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize