just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
