Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
