we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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