Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
