So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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