Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
