i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
