apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
