The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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