Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
