One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
