I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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