I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
