I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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