I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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