I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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